Horoscope
by Kerri French
- This year, you will buy too many shoes and go into debt.
- Be cautious in parking lots. Don’t panic when the house floods.
- Do charge a plane ticket to Italy the night you drive home
- from one too many poetry readings in tears. You can ask
- the Irish boy you met in England to meet you, if you like—
- but I’m telling you now, he won’t ever come. Dear Aquarius,
- I am so sorry to report this. Your childhood cat already
- has a brain tumor, and it is only a matter of months
- before you find him running circles around the bedroom.
- In the fall, the new moon will usher in change. Take a trip
- to New Mexico and do nothing but eat avocado and sleep in.
- Don’t be afraid to cut your hair the shortest it has ever been.
- Remain optimistic above all else. Hang maps across the walls
- and circle places you have yet to see. Beware a lonely coworker
- who will follow you home each night, phone relentlessly when
- you are out with friends. Be prepared: repairs to the house
- may take months. Name a new kitten after your favorite poet.
- The death of a friend’s father will inspire a move home.
- As the New Year approaches, you will fight with a lover
- and later drink too much at a party. Best wishes to you, Aquarius!
- Anticipate falling into a tangle of branches on the walk alone.
