About Barely SouthSubmission GuidelinesCurrent IssuePast IssuesFeaturesBlog

A Moon Walks Into a Bar

by Christine Reilly

  • & forgets to take off his soccer cleats.
  • A lady friend bellows, Look at those obliques!
  • Moon is embarrassed, turns pumpkin & sunflower
  • in the cheeks. A moon walks into a bar
  • & a flashlight mistakes him for another flashlight,
  • trying to pick him up. The moon is too drunk to trust his own diminishing moral code,
  • so he consults his lady-friend in the bathroom.
  • She tells him, let him blow you, but don’t touch him or anything.
  • The bathroom is playing “Kiss From A Rose” by Seal,
  • which is Moon’s favorite song.
  • He takes it as a sign and goes back into the smoky bar,
  • ready to be fondled by a stranger.
  • The flashlight is talking to a boat-shaped chandelier.
  • He orders her a mind-eraser and thinks he’s suave.
  • The flashlight avoids eye contact with Moon
  • while telling the boat-shaped chandelier about how pre-Raphaelite she looks,
  • how bright she is, like a banana leaf!
  • Moon thinks, don’t get so down on yourself.
  • People don’t think about you as much as you do.
  • A moon walks into a bar & people try to cop a feel,
  • claiming, I’ve never felt anyone’s moon before.
  • The moon surprisingly contains a lot of muscle.
  • A moon walks into a bar
  • & people ogle at his big soft legs, like they’re made of sugar. A moon walks into a bar
  • & his hair looks a bit oily. Some Chinese claim to worship the moon,
  • offering him a slice of honeycake. He prefers to drink beer
  • out of a sippycup. A moon walks into a bar & accidentally gets salt-hard,
  • turned on. & people notice. & people hand the moon
  • their business cards, trying to network.
  • They ask Moon, what was your major in college?
  • & Moon replies, rhetoric. They shut up.
  • A moon walks into a bar & somebody says, My friend Jupiter, he has a LOT of moons,
  • & people bar-hop to one closer to the sun, with more breathing room.
  • They finally leave Moon alone. A moon walks into a bar
  • & prays to Father, Son & Holy Spirit. He looks for Earth, his own Father. He forgets
  • that right now he is living on Earth, not in His crater-womb but holding his hands, on the ground.
  • You know that trite quote about footsteps? You know the one,
  • the way it’s endlessly re-printed on funeral programs. I was carrying you, my Son, all this time.
  • Not many people know that Moon’s footsteps are clouds. On overcast days,
  • Moon exercises with sooty allure and a pedometer, hoping to shrink
  • to the size of a goose-necked banana. Earth stares back at his son, remarking,
  • a disappointment. A moon walks into a bar
  • & stares out the window at an Irish Nightingale. He’s convinced
  • she may be the reincarnation of a girl who died young, the tallest
  • girl in the class. She has no friends, in this life or the one before.


about | submissions | present | past | features | blog